Oh man one time my apt building was being remodeled and they threw everything into a dumpster out back and left for a week. The smoke detectors in the pile were going off randomly all the damn time. I must have smashed 30 of those fuckers against the wall to shut them up.

Be the change you want to see in the world 🤡

It depends on how many dachshunds you're willing to lose.

I'm sure there's plenty, the trick is getting someone to enforce them.

He's chasin da fishes now

Fair, enough

You sir! Are you here to receive my limp penis?

How do you feel about punctuation?

I'm glad someone else remembers that movie.

Run along girl, you're free now!

Buried a fish under a tree once, fuckin dog had that shit dug up in 5 minutes and was rolling around in it.

I ate too many pot cookies once thinking they were weak and then went to bed a couple hours later. I had a dream of floating in complete blackness and then a blinding white light hit me along with the loudest sound I've ever heard. I woke up sitting bolt upright in bed sweating through my sheets then called my friend babbling about how I saw God in a dream lmao

I'm on a synthwavey kick right now so I'm calling out Maximum Love.

https://youtu.be/mpdZzAe35_Q

https://open.spotify.com/artist/6iDI0sHLIeFIkZk6BKJBVQ?si=N-DjClfbQIK4WLL5Lmr0pQ

It's fine, they put stickers on them that say they're just traveling and not actually being mailed.

The margins

Nice! Can't wait for Tuesday, really feels like they're cooking on the update.

She looks broken

He did great at making himself look bad.

Huh, I wonder what the common denominator was.

It's almost fascinating how he says all that and his conclusion is that 'Trump shouldn't have said it' and not 'Trump is a liar and taking advantage of his own supporters'.